Death is as intrinsic to the human experience as is the need for companionship, understanding, compassion, and empathy at the end of life. While family, friends, and community members once took it upon themselves to memorialize those close to them after death, as families began to spread out and we stopped introducing ourselves to our neighbors, as we stopped caring for our unhoused, for those affected by addiction, for our elders, they began to slip through the cracks of our consciousness. Of our memories.
They began to disappear.
End-of-life doulas have stepped into this void, as they have stepped into so many of the voids in death work.
We make certain people have the opportunity to tell their stories. That they’re remembered the way they want to be remembered. That they leave behind the pieces of themselves they want others to remember. That they are remembered. Some are most comfortable writing, others painting. Some people want to sit in front of a camera while others only want to plan their vigil or memorial. Still others want to take the opportunity to make amends. It should always be the individual’s choice; that choice is what makes legacy work part of a good death.
Unfortunately, insurance doesn’t yet pay for doula services which means many folx don’t have access to legacy work and this is doubly true for groups that are already underserved, including: LGBTQIA+ elders, the unhoused, and those affected by addiction. While their peers care about them, love them, remember them, their deaths are an ending and when those peers pass, their stories vanish as well, and then those people are forgotten, and then their survivors, ad infinitum.
And that simply isn’t right.
Everyone has a right to be remembered.
And that’s why we’re here.
Our goal is to offer underserved groups the opportunity to tell their stories. To preserve stories for anyone who wants to tell them. To make sure everyone is remembered. To change the larger culture so that we no longer ignore the underserved but once more see them as human, as members of our community, as people deserving of our time, with stories to tell, who deserve to be remembered.